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发表于 2008-5-26 03:12:22
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We always hear "the rules"& D! \' k& o8 a0 f# o9 C6 s
From the female side.% r# o" U) u: s! z
Now here are the rules from the male side.0 S9 Z C0 T' L6 T: r) R
These are our rules!
0 H+ v% e B! u/ j5 Y* X- aPlease note.. these are all numbered "1"! c" V$ T1 R8 W c1 D- x& Q5 R
ON PURPOSE!- p! `8 E( y/ h; w$ X1 J
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat.3 u- x; n# K# _* M8 A/ E
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
6 z# T- Z6 b$ @6 z8 SWe need it up, you need it down.+ z2 q" ~* W; I9 |
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
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' ?, [6 }. k, c" q8 o- {7 x! f1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
6 ]+ }9 t+ s: z3 I) H& `or the changing of the tides.
* {- ]' k( h& `Let it be.+ f8 c7 J( t- Q8 _5 Y! B
! Y7 V9 r8 E M1 o9 a1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
( n2 F* M( A `And no, we are never going to think of it that way.2 Y, }8 n' Q3 @ E) R; v
1 \! q6 a: a) i3 g& X/ t) `1. Crying is blackmail.
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1. Ask for what you want.' D9 P/ u. _( E! a& J" Q
Let us be clear on this one:7 ^0 m" Z% h, }0 t! {
Subtle hints do not work! P. A0 f4 b N# X; w7 ?
Strong hints do not work!0 n; X6 `& ~. r# y
Obvious hints do not work!: @8 Y5 h2 j7 l, L7 e/ J
Just say it!
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1 e2 Z& s' X9 c$ @, x1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
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( ?# ^ x# A& G0 b! w) U3 k1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
9 `( `) a" N* pSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.3 M. F# N9 M, X8 L' s
6 P8 q2 y/ J+ F5 P1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
I4 v# T9 f ~1 r3 K7 Y1 ]! xIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. X0 p" e: n7 k
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.3 e4 L- S3 J2 I5 h1 G m4 B
; j7 W- E7 E6 s; w/ @$ |4 n) s1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.4 K: v: N6 _0 }; k7 a! O8 O
Don't ask us.
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$ Q" {! f# j5 j$ A) W1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..
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1. You can either ask us to do something, ]: d! z0 M0 Y7 a! `" K4 x8 z
Or tell us how you want it done.
8 s! I! o# m! a( BNot both.
4 L7 |$ E' M' K4 c. R9 c3 M* C4 UIf you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.( o$ G& v+ r" N4 N1 `
5 s' o2 ?6 H. S1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
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+ S$ D e+ ?" N( z- d. ^ W x1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.+ I' P! m: A4 @8 a4 r
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.# V8 ?; s5 j3 p7 Z' N- T3 e
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.! D: T. F" F$ a. }5 T+ _' P* _
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
" l% z8 r: ^ p I+ @% bWe do that." V9 p6 U0 T8 R! N+ w6 `6 c" g
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
& n* i* I) a7 r% \( J' `We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle." i# j: M( G5 F" v+ ^% L
4 n! c) Q! @2 X) L) M4 `' g1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
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! s) T0 {$ R4 h+ A8 l1 D1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
# d: T0 T5 j; d* g, xor golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.% Q% V& Y2 i1 c3 S/ T+ k
# e- P, c8 a2 d* B* q1. You have too many shoes.( y& S" m1 [7 C, c' b% a5 g
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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% e2 w* Z, }0 q/ d1. Thank you for reading this.' b* i3 Y8 E- O( a( G9 l7 _* Z
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* {9 [+ X6 A8 c9 \7 n w ZBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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